11:25 – Know Yourself And The Kind Of Leader You Are
Roshni Mahtani Cheung – The second lesson that I learned about people was that it’s really important to know yourself and what kind of leader you are and the experience I had was that when I first started off the business 10 years ago, I went on my first vacation after one year. It was Christmas, I took a trip to Vietnam and I was so excited.
I had a team of five people and I told my team, I said, Okay, you guys make sure the boat doesn’t sink. I’m going on my vacation. I’m gonna be off the chart and off the grid. You won’t be able to contact me. I came back to Singapore and I started messaging people and nobody was responding to me. So this was the Christmas New Year period, and I was going, Okay, maybe everyone’s just out celebrating for Christmas and New Year.
I come back into the office on January 3rd and there’s not a single person in my office. I looked at my table and a stack of resignation letters and it was the most heart-wrenching experience for me. Uh, and I went through the seven stages of grief, right? Denial, guilt, etc, asking myself, Did my whole team just quit on me?
What the hell’s going on here? And, and that’s when I realised, okay, what was the reason for it? I started talking to people to figure out why were you not happy working here? Why did you leave? And they said, You work us through the bones. You work seven days a week. You’re unreasonable. You have crazy expectations. We don’t wanna be part of this mission. We don’t, we don’t believe we, we wanna break and I said, Okay and, and I sat down and I introspected and I said, What went wrong here?
I realised one of the things here was that I didn’t communicate. I didn’t communicate why I was working so hard, what was driving me, why I felt this impetus to constantly be prioritising what we are doing in the company and, then the second thing was that just because I believed in the mission or I was motivated by the mission, I shouldn’t be expecting everyone in the company to be motivated by the same mission as well. Different people have their different languages of love. Different people join organisations for different reasons.
Some are missionaries, some are mercenaries. And it’s really important to know yourself, but also to know your team. So after going through this introspection, I realised. There’s some things you can change about yourself, and there’s some things you can’t change about yourself. Your full development of your brain happens until the age of 25.
Most of your personality is determined by the time you’re 25. You can’t change yourself that much, maybe a little bit, but who you are is who you are. So I realised I need to hire people who can work with me. So let’s be authentic. Let me tell people what I really am, and if they wanna work with me, if they wanna join me on this journey, they will.
And if they don’t, it’s okay. There’s gonna be another leader. There’s gonna be another company that resonates with them even better. So know yourself when it comes to people, but know your team. So understand their language of love. What’s motivating people to come join you? And how do they take feedback? How do they feel appreciated? How do they feel loved? And once you understand your team and you don’t try to go and put your own biases onto your team, you’ll realise that you have a much more harmonious working relationship and then you can stem all these problems like attrition, etc. So that was my second experience with people.